remember why you started.
- May 12
- 3 min read
i started writing rhymes when i was about 10-11 and started recording when i was about 18. my step pops played a major part in me wanting to be a rapper, mainly because i saw him do it. he never really helped me in pursuing it, but he gave me the inspiration and that was good enough for me.
fresh out of high school is when i linked with two producers from my hood. one of my childhood friends at the time made the connection, long story short; they brought me to my first real studio session. i remember being given two beats they cooked up that were completely different and them telling me to create something. i was still trying to figure out how to structure songs, i was trying to find my voice but i made it work. the songs were "cool" cant front lol.
around this time, the two producers had put together a little squad. they had a younger artist who i went to middle school with who was dumb nice and also another homie who was playing the manager role. as time went, we all got better in creating music and getting known on the upcoming NY music scene. those producers started connecting with some fire ass artist that are well established now and even started gaining traction in the offices. we were developing a brotherhood but as they gained more traction and distractions, we drifted apart. meanwhile, i was still trying to find my footing.
around 20-21, i had a kid on the way, so life got real, fast! during that time, i built a strong relationship with my engineer blue and we actually became family. i would book four-hour sessions every week just to lock in. working on my flow, my delivery and my confidence. i'd normally come through with a verse and a half written and blue would help me piece it all together.
at the time i really didn't have my own production, so i started freestyling over other people's records. not just rap! it would be over anything that just made me feel something. sade, curtis mayfield, donny hathaway...just was a catching a vibe and making it mine.
i released a few of them and the homies were really fucking with them. i even would send a few to blogs sites and they would post them which also started getting me attention from producers, artists and fans.
ibe was one of the producers i connected with at that time and we started building something. i remember using my unemployment checks to pay for beats for my first project and him saying "what are we doing?". he knew what type of production would fit me best, just off of some of the freestyles i did and a couple songs i played him. all that practice paid off, and it helped me shape my first tape, the long way home.
the same process happened again when i was putting together 24k. ibe still did a lot of the production, but i still wanted to add some other elements to the project. anytime im looking for a new sound, i would go on a freestyle run and shortly after, i'd attract the sound i was looking for. it was really my way of thinking freely without overthinking. just having fun with it.
there was a point though, the music stopped feeling fun. it started to feel like a job or something. i added pressure on myself that took me away from being creative and just had me in my head. not sure if it was me trying to prove myself to who knows or what, but it just didn't feel the same. so, i made the decision to get back to the space to just have fun. no pressure, just creating.
i'll probably get into this later, but lately i've just been looking for that feeling. something like when i first started. the spark that made me rap in the first place. i've started talking to people about their crafts as well and i'm starting to realize we are all chasing that feeling. the thing that made us start in the first place. this is for people like you, word.
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